I’ll be happy when I… get that new job, move house, find a partner, have kids, get qualified, buy that thing…
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What is destination addiction?
It’s easy to get lost in our future goals and vision setting - our wants and our needs - but in doing so we risk losing sight of what we already have. This is what the phrase ‘destination addiction’ refers to. Destination Addiction is the belief that happiness can be found only in a specific destination or somewhere other than the present.
We get caught up in thinking that our happiness lies somewhere in the distant future.
It’s something we’re brought up to believe in early on in our lives. As children we are taught to think in terms of our future goals. Questions such as “what do you want to be when you grow up” and the repeated insistence that hard work will lead to good grades which will, in turn, give us a better chance at happiness, conditions us to focus on the future instead of the here and now.
This may not sound so bad in theory - there’s nothing wrong with wanting a good future - but destination addiction can act as a major roadblock to realising our success.
This begs the question: what’s wrong with striving for more?
What’s wrong with striving? How can the pursuit of better and setting goals hinder us?
Striving in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be used to push us out of our comfort zone, drive us to achieve our goals, and help us move forward.
However, constantly pushing for something bigger and something better can lead to us feeling disappointed in our current situation. If we’re constantly striving for more, it’s easy to lose sight of what we already have.
The thing is, in placing our happiness on factors outside of our control we leave ourselves less room for true satisfaction. Destination addiction is easy to get caught up in, especially if we are dissatisfied with our current situation. Anticipation for something more or for something better can help improve our mood in the short-term but when this becomes a habit we get locked into a cycle of constantly striving for happiness while never letting ourselves achieve it. Happiness isn’t a destination we can reach or a goal we can achieve, instead it's made up of a series of moments.
Photo by Andrew Krueger on Unsplash
Why is gratitude so powerful when it comes to achieving our goals and finding happiness?
Gratitude is important for our health and wellbeing. Studies show that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Expressing gratitude helps us feel more positively about ourselves and those around us, boosting our self confidence and helping us to build healthier connections. It's important to express gratitude for our past – as it's what has led us to where we are now – and for our present state too. In doing so, we are better able to enjoy our current successes instead of getting hung up on our future goals.
Poet Mary Oliver put it best when she wrote ‘sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed'. That's the ideal mindset to have. While our situation may never fully live up to the imagined ideal we have created for ourselves, it still holds value. There will always be little things that spark joy. It is up to us to savour those things and to enjoy those moments as we encounter them.
If a gratitude journal doesn’t work for you, we love HUSTLE + hush coach Jude’s joy jar that she’s going to be adding to this year - noting down the things that bring her joy on a piece of paper, folding them up and adding them into this glass jar.
How to set goals for the new year that are supportive and affirming
We talk about destination addiction in the RECAP + ROADMAP workbook and how it can be very easy to get swept up in the chase of the next, next, next.
That’s why we start the process of ROADMAPPING and goal setting for 2022 with a section on your 2021 RECAP. Before we start the intention setting for a new year, we dedicate space to reflect on what areas you’re proud of, what you’re grateful for as well as covering learnings and challenging moments. As you undertake your quarterly REVIEW process throughout 2022, you’ll also get a chance to check-in and see how you’re doing in that moment and celebrate, amend or adjust accordingly.
Wrap up your 2021 with a host of helpful reflection prompts and build out a personalised roadmap, getting clarity on your key 2022 focus areas.
Click through to download the RECAP 2021 + ROADMAP 2022 digital workbook and get started developing a dynamic vision for the new year…
Written by Lauren Grimes.